Dear JocelynnDear Jocelynn,
You believed in me when nobody else did. You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself.
You helped me when I thought no one else could.
You make me laugh when I want to cry.
You make me smile when I want to scream.
You make everything better. With you, everything is okay.
With you, all of life's pain and suffering melts away.
I love you more than anything on this earth, dear. You mean more to me than words can explain. I can't wait to marry you.
My PurposeMy day had started out like any other. I had woken up to the voice of my love on the other end of the phone, wishing me well and telling me how much she loved me.
Since she wasn't here, I satisfied myself, then climbed the stairs up a cold hall and into the kitchen, still half asleep.
I stumbled to the bathroom, turned on the hot water, had my morning shower, and fixed myself up. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw the same thing I see every morning; the tired, lonely face of a mildly attractive man looking back at me.
There was no evidence whatsoever that today would be any different.
I had arrived at school and sat through an hour of a college English class. My second class of the day would be completely online, which meant I was sitting at my computer, staring at an LCD when my mind wandered.
I caught myself thinking of life. It seemed a rather broad topic to be contemplating so early in the morning (the clock had barely struck nine). I wondered why I was here. Why had God pu